As relatives, friends or well wishers we want to cheer up the spirit of a person who is not doing well. At times even if our intentions are good we say things which harm or demean a person struggling with her/his illness.
If only you could think positive, you will come out of this! You need to show greater will power!
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These statements are very easily said. For a person who is not well it is at times being in swamp, she/he needs a helping hand to get out of it and not sermons.
If you say the following things you may want to think about it!
1. You Don't Look Sick:
People don't have to necessarily look sick even when they have multitude of problems. Conditions like Parkinson, Multiple Sclerosis, Diabetes, Kidney failure can look very normal in their initial phases. That does not mean that they are not battling their problems.
2. It's All In Your Head:
This is a very common phrase for people who complain that feel tired or say that they sleep less. In all reality they could possibly be recovering from viral infection or have Vitamin B 12 deficiency or experiencing side effects from medicines which they are taking.
3. It Could Have Been Worse:
This does not help the person as she/he is left wondering whether their disease will get worse. Also it does not take away the suffering they have.
The intention might have been good but your encouragement or advice can be better than the above phrase.
4. I Know How You Feel:
Even if you have suffered the same illness or have the same chronic condition, it does mean that you can relate to their feeling. Each individual's pain threshold, body metabolism is different. The medicine which worked for your relative or you, may not be working for this person. Empathy can best expressed by listening to them.
5. "Just Think Positive"
This is an all time favorite. While positive thinking helps, it cannot be a cure in itself unless aided by other support mechanism. When in chronic pain or acute pain, try thinking positive, you will know how challenging it is.
You can let us know your thoughts and your suggestions. You can add to this list by writing to us.
If only you could think positive, you will come out of this! You need to show greater will power!
These statements are very easily said. For a person who is not well it is at times being in swamp, she/he needs a helping hand to get out of it and not sermons.
If you say the following things you may want to think about it!
1. You Don't Look Sick:
People don't have to necessarily look sick even when they have multitude of problems. Conditions like Parkinson, Multiple Sclerosis, Diabetes, Kidney failure can look very normal in their initial phases. That does not mean that they are not battling their problems.
2. It's All In Your Head:
This is a very common phrase for people who complain that feel tired or say that they sleep less. In all reality they could possibly be recovering from viral infection or have Vitamin B 12 deficiency or experiencing side effects from medicines which they are taking.
3. It Could Have Been Worse:
This does not help the person as she/he is left wondering whether their disease will get worse. Also it does not take away the suffering they have.
The intention might have been good but your encouragement or advice can be better than the above phrase.
4. I Know How You Feel:
Even if you have suffered the same illness or have the same chronic condition, it does mean that you can relate to their feeling. Each individual's pain threshold, body metabolism is different. The medicine which worked for your relative or you, may not be working for this person. Empathy can best expressed by listening to them.
5. "Just Think Positive"
This is an all time favorite. While positive thinking helps, it cannot be a cure in itself unless aided by other support mechanism. When in chronic pain or acute pain, try thinking positive, you will know how challenging it is.
You can let us know your thoughts and your suggestions. You can add to this list by writing to us.
